Sometimes as a writer, I need to refill the creative well, so tonight I went to see this documentary/making of a music video/concert featuring Jason Mraz at the movie theater called Have It All.
I thought it might be crowded, so I bought my ticket ahead of time.
You can guess where this is going, right?
I was the ONLY person in the theater.
Unusual, but not weird.
There are no previews playing. Again, unusual, but not weird.
The movie doesn’t start. I wait five minutes. I go tell a teenage employee that the movie needs to be started. I return to my seat. (Thankfully it hadn’t been taken by anyone in my absence…since you know…there was no one else there.)
I text my sister to tell her about the totally deserted theater and the fact there’s no movie.
I text her, not because I need to vent, but because I know that like most weird things that happen to me, she will be entertained. Her response is exactly what I expect from her, “Only you.”
HARK!!!!! Something’s happening on the screen. Very exciting. I tell her I think it may be starting. I put away my phone and settle in to watch.
The guy at the projector window at the top of the theater opens the window and yells out, “Is it too loud?”
I’m pretty sure I did a pan for the hidden camera that had to be recording this because there is NO SOUND.
Because it took me a second to answer (because I really thought he was messing with me) he yells again, “Is it too loud?”
“There’s no sound!” I yell back.
“There’s no freaking sound!” I scream. SIDE NOTE: Kudos to me for at least saying “freaking”…even though I was screaming it at the top of my lungs.
The window closes.
Seriously, he just closed the window.
So I took a deep breath and went back to watching the screen with the “Trash your garbage” (WHO WRITES THIS STUFF?!?!) reminder.
And the sound kicks in and then there’s a jumble as he fast forwards thru some stuff.
So I settle in again to watch.
THEN he runs up to my seat in the theater to ask me how the volume is. Which was weird and awkward, but yeah, okay, thanks.
And he leaves.
THEN he returns to ask about about the volume again because “FATHOM events have their volume set at 7.1 while normal is 4.5.”
“It’s FINE,” I tell him.
The movie starts thirty-four minutes after it was supposed to, but I still managed to enjoy the strange hybrid of collaboration and motivation.
Mraz dedicates his song UNLONELY to anyone who’s gone to the theater alone. Considering I went alone and am all alone in the theater this makes me chuckle. Which is why, when he encourages viewers to get up and dance, I did. I mean, why not? There was no one there to see me.
The projectionist opened the window to clap for me when I was done.